A foster mum from Croydon has spoken frankly about the challenges and rewards of being a busy foster mum to three teenage boys during lockdown.

Safia Basith, 52, was well prepared for the challenge. She has fostered more than 30 children from babies to teenagers during her fostering career.

She is currently looking after one 14-year-old and two 16-year-old boys and it's a story that's especially relevant to Croydon. It has the largest population of children in care of any London borough with 800 looked-after children - 400 of whom are in foster care.

As a Muslim, Safia is also showing how people from all faiths and religions play their part in supporting children in Croydon's diverse community.

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'An aspect of shock'

And with the coronavirus lockdown now entering its second month, the family is facing a completely new challenge.

Safia said: "The first couple of weeks were really interesting, as with young people all over the country there was an aspect of shock.

"We as a family tend to follow the news and from January onwards we were talking about the disease spreading, so when lockdown came I felt I'd prepared them for what was to come.

"But even though they understood, it didn't hit them that they really did have to stay home, it was very difficult for them to understand.

"For the first couple of weeks the children and I had daily support from social workers.

"From the end of week two onwards it was implemented really strictly in my household, they could only go out for exercise and that didn't mean meeting up with friends."

She said the first few weeks were difficult for the boys not seeing their friends but have now settled into using video calls to catch up with their friends.

"I really enjoy having teenagers at home, they're good company and there's humour," she adds.

She says that the boys have got used to not going out and about now and are keeping themselves busy at home - she's even started teaching them how to cook.

But Safia admits that the start of the lockdown was a worrying time - it was then she turned to other foster carers for support.

'A worrying time'

She added: "Normally I have my food delivered when the lockdown came in my delivery slot was cancelled

"I thought OK there's the lockdown I have my three boys myself and my daughter all working from home.

"In the early days it was worrying, then we got used to wearing masks and gloves but the first few weeks was very worrying.

"As foster carers we were talking to each other, you're not alone you're part of a community as a foster carer everyone has pulled together it's been amazing."

And it took a few weeks to get into a routine with the boys - Safia and her daughter Sarah, 30, have been getting to grips with helping them with school work.

She said: "Initially the expectation was that they would sit for three hours of teaching but now I think one hour of quality teaching is better than children sitting at the table getting bored. My daughter and I both sit and support them."

Why fostering?

Safia was thinking about fostering for a good 10 years before she took the plunge into fostering when her daughters were 16 and 18-years-old.

It was working as a primary school teacher that the single mum first became interested in fostering.

She taught children who were in care and saw the difference foster carers made to their lives.

"One of the things I was uncertain about was the impact of children from possibly unstable backgrounds how that would effect my own children and other children in my extended family," said Safia.

"My eldest was my main back up carer when I started, she is now married and has her own two children."

"I found that fostering had a positive impact, despite being apprehensive and uncertain of how it would affect my own daughters.

"It has really made them compassionate more caring and patient."

She added that her eldest daughter, Hajera, 32, wants to become a foster parent herself while Sarah, 30, who lives with Safia, is interested in adopting.

Safia fostered for six years but then took a seven-year break from it when she went into school leadership in Abu Dhabi.

She said: "I had three children, two young people who moved into independence and a baby who was adopted. There was a natural break at that point.

"I was really attached to the baby and after he moved on I felt I needed a break."

Muslims make up eight per cent of Croydon's population and 24 per cent of children in care, but it's not always possible to place Muslim children in care with families of the same faith.

As a Muslim woman, Safia said: "When I initially applied, you can specify the age and gender, I thought I would only be looking after girls because on the cultural side there was an issue of having unrelated males in a female only household.

"So the first year or so it was girls mainly, but I realised there was a need, I thought I could offer something to vulnerable children. I decided I wasn't going to limit myself to a single gender and it's been really interesting."

'There's so much happiness'

Safia has looked after all ages from babies to older teenagers and said she enjoys training the older ones for adulthood.

"You teach them skills to look after their money and cooking - these things that parents teach their children," she said.

"There are so many funny moments, there's so much happiness.

"It is really wonderful, I enjoy their stories and the training aspect instilling self confidence values such as taking pride in themselves. You're really mentoring these young people to become confident and independent individuals."

And she is still in touch with some of the people she fostered the first time round, some of whom are now married or have their own children.

"They find me on Facebook and I am in touch with children they have their own families, it is such a pleasure to know that they want me to be part of their lives.

"There is one young lady I looked after who did so well academically she is in a professional career when she came to me everything was so against her.

"The resilience she showed over a period of time that story really affects me - there are success stories where children have overcome a lot of pain and trauma and have come out the other side."

"You do see change in a child coming to you with a social worker to moving on in what could be months or years."

She has also looked after babies and younger children over the years.

Safia said: "I once looked after a girl who was with me for three months then went back to her parents. The parents took some parenting classes when things stabilised she went back.

"Another time I looked after a one-year-old girl who's mum went into hospital to have her second child. I had her for six weeks, it was really nice. We would go and see her mum every day or so.

"She'd play with mum and then get ready to come home with me at the end, there wasn't that tantrum I was able to provide that loving environment for her."

More foster carers needed

This Foster Care Fortnight, which ends on Sunday, May 24, Croydon Council is asking more people in the borough to consider becoming a foster carer.

Croydon has the largest population of under-18s in London and around 800 children and young people in care – more than anywhere else in London.

Of these, around 400 children are placed with our Croydon foster carers.

The council tries to match children with foster carers of the same ethnicity or religious background.

"I know Croydon are trying really hard to recruit, I hope that more people think about coming forward," added Safia.

"And there isn't just one type of fostering, it does not always have to be long term. There are some carers that are needed for respite or short placements.

"It is very sad more and more children are coming into care. there is a growing need for new foster carers."

The council is running virtual information sessions during the coronavirus pandemic.

For more information email Iwanttofoster@croydon.gov.uk or phone 0300 222 2112.

If you have a story from Croydon for us, please email our reporter tara.o@connor@reachplc.com